What are your non-negotiables?
I wanted to take a moment to share something important that I believe can truly enhance our lives and relationships: setting personal boundaries.
It’s also been a big topic with many Clients lately. I thought since it seems to be in the air, it’s worth having a conversation about.
Without personal boundaries we tend to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and taken advantage of. Without boundaries we spend time doing what others want, instead of what we want, or need, to do. In the long term, this can lead to frustration, irritability, feelings of being unfulfilled and even depression.
Establishing personal boundaries is an important aspect of maintaining well-being and cultivating healthy relationships. It’s a topic that’s close to my heart because I’ve come to understand just how vital personal boundaries are for nurturing healthy connections with self and others.
Here are some steps I find helpful for identifying, establishing and maintaining personal boundaries:
Self-awareness is the first step. Take some dedicated time to reflect on your values, needs, and feelings. Ask yourself what matters most, what makes you feel safe and respected, and what doesn’t; this is crucial. Understanding what is important to you and what makes you feel comfortable, or uncomfortable, in different situations is key to truly knowing yourself deeply and honoring your own feelings and needs.
Being able to prioritize self-care is also key in self-awareness. Being self aware allows us to feel into what it is our body, our mind and our soul are craving. It’s up to us, individually, to meet our own needs toward self care. I always think about Stewards on airplanes reminding us to put on our own mask before helping others. If we dash around before tending to our own needs, it’s practically impossible to be useful to others or to ourselves.
Once you’ve gained that self-awareness, it’s important to identify your boundaries. These are the lines we draw in various aspects of our lives—whether in relationships, at work, or in our personal space. Consider what behaviors, actions, or words are acceptable to you and what crosses the line. Knowing what behaviors are acceptable and where you feel uncomfortable allows you to define your boundaries clearly.
During this step, it may be easiest to begin the process by writing down what your ‘non-negotiable’ lines are. What behavior will you absolutely not accept from others. In working with Clients I find this kind of ‘reverse’ engineering helps them get the juices flowing around identifying what boundaries they are needing to set.
Once you’ve identified your boundaries, Communication is key. Clearly communicate your boundaries to others. Be assertive and direct in expressing your needs and limits. It’s not always easy, but you are important and you owe it to yourself to clearly communicate your boundaries to others.
Communicating your boundaries is not only empowering, but necessary for your own well-being. Remember that it’s okay to say no and to set limits to protect your well-being. I often remind my Clients (and myself) that NO is a complete sentence.
Consistency matters. Once you’ve set your boundaries, it’s important to uphold them consistently. This helps others understand and respect your limits and, over time, can actually strengthen your relationships.
By consistently maintaining your boundaries you’ll find that mutual respect and understanding will grow effortlessly within your relationships. And hey, once your boundaries are set and maintained, don’t be surprised when those who cannot respect them, or you, simply fall away.
Prioritize self-care by making consistent time for activities that help you recharge and stay balanced. Whether it’s long walks, yoga, the spa, the gym, or simply sitting in silence for a few minutes each day, taking care of yourself will give you the strength and resolution to maintain your boundaries. Remember, self-care and self-awareness go hand in hand.
Support from others is important to maintaining boundaries. It’s helpful to surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and support you in maintaining them. Like having a ‘boundary buddy’ you can lean on for support and who can lean on you when the lines get muddled.
If you’re struggling with identifying, setting or maintaining boundaries, consider seeking guidance by booking a session with me. I have many Clients who not only seek clairvoyant guidance from me, but return for what I call ‘energy coaching.’ There are many topics Clients seek insight around, and setting personal boundaries is definitely high on the list.
Prioritizing time for yourself and seeking support from those who respect your boundaries are all part of maintaining a healthy balance within your relationships. Whether in work, community, or family, setting boundaries is a process—an ongoing journey of self-discovery and self-care.
Schedule a Life Path Destiny reading or Energy Coaching session with me to gain clarity on the boundaries you are seeking to set. I’m here for you!
