A few years ago I opened a sacred space to offer Tarot readings within a local spa. Two other practitioners working there held very loose hours, so I found myself working alone most of the time. I set specific hours for myself and began advertising to invite clients and querent to meet me for readings. The first few weeks were all about acquiring licensing, buying office furniture, creating sacred space and most fun of all, reading Tarot for new clients.
As the busy work of getting set up quieted down, I found a natural rhythm to my working days. I was typically the only practitioner in the spa.
One morning as I was in meditation preparing for a querent, I had a strong sense of another presence in the space. I continued with my practice, awareness heightened. When I finished my meditation, I turned my attention outward, out into the open space of the spa. “Who are you?” I asked telepathically. Nothing. Yet I knew there was another presence in this space and this was not a guide or angelic but another being, a quiet being.
As the next weeks passed the presence continued and I began asking every day, as I entered the spa “Who are you and what do you need?” Nothing. No response, yet there was no denying the energy of another was real. I asked the other practitioners if they had noticed or felt any unseen presence within the spa; each said no.
Next door was a gift shop and an employee was friends with one of the spa practitioners. Flor came into the spa one day and I asked if she’d ever felt a presence within the spa. She didn’t say ‘no’ but asked me ‘Why?’ I told her I’d been feeling a presence for some time, that it felt like it was observing me, but never came forward or gave any indication of who or what they were. She paused and told me she could ‘sense’ something ‘other worldly’ in the spa now, but hadn’t noticed it before.
On another day, sitting at my desk clearing up after a reading the presence became stronger. I centered myself, I could now sense this was a feminine energy. I waited, and waited. I asked again, “who are you and what do you need?” Nothing, still. I decided on another tactic; instead of questioning perhaps I should try having a conversation. Telepathically I told the presence, “I feel like you are observing me, or watching me. But I don’t understand why. I’ll just continue to show up every day, knowing you’re here.” I felt a knowing that my message had landed and was well received. That was it, for now.
Over the next few weeks my routine remained the same, including me saying good morning to the invisible presence that I could now pinpoint was feminine and coming from a specific corner of the spa. When I ‘felt’ into that space, that corner, it felt very protected or protective. Even sacred or holy. But when I looked at that space, it was just a corner made of concrete walls, plastered and painted. This presence continued to observe me and I continued to acknowledge it.
I awoke from a deep sleep, middle of the night, there was a presence in my bedroom. I felt it familiar .. woman .. observer seeking help. I bolted upright, right hand held out in front of me and I said ‘NO, you are not invited here! You go right back from where you came and I’ll talk to you in the morning. The presence retreated. I looked at my husband, dog and cat. All sound asleep, they hadn’t been disturbed. I went back to sleep.
The next morning I rushed to get to the spa. I felt empowered to get to the bottom of .. something. I felt a call to action, but didn’t know what I should or could do. I settled into the spa, locked the front door and began to pray. Not that praying was unusual for me at the spa, but this was specific toward spirit to help me in the human realm to help another in spirit to … what? I just could not put a finger on what I was supposed to do, or what even I could do. Yet, from a soul level I felt compelled to do something.
I came out of prayer and went into action building an altar in the middle of the floor. I lit a candle, I lit incense, I burned sage, I created a small crystal grid, I blessed a vessel of water, I recall that I was chanting in my mind Ho’oponopono. I could feel my guides and angels, yet I couldn’t hear them. I wasn’t frantic, but I was absolutely compelled to find out what this presence needed from me and why their need led them to seek me out at my home.
Altar built, prayers in motion, chanting on autoplay I decided to invite the presence to sit with me and tell me her story. I placed two pillows on the floor, one opposite the other. No. That didn’t feel right. I replaced them next to each other and then placed a third pillow making a circle. Music came to mind. I put on a quiet playlist. And I waited, and waited.
Maybe an hour passed. I stood up and walked to the front window and said out loud “God, I don’t know what my role is here, but I’m just going to say that the first thing I see outside of this window will be a sign that leads me to what I need to do.”
At that very moment the woman from next door, appeared at the front door, pulling to get in. We caught eyes, she as surprised to find the door locked as I was to find her trying to enter at the moment of my declaration to God. I unlocked the door and she immediately took in my altar space and three cushions. “What are you doing?” She asked. I shared with her what I experienced the night before, that I was feeling compelled to do something and I told her about my declaration to God just prior to her pulling on the front door.
She didn’t flinch, she stood there and just looked at me. I then got an impression of a wolf and spontaneously asked, “Do you have a carving of a wolf at the store and, would you be willing to sit with me and lend your energy to whatever it is that I’m trying to figure out here.” She agreed and dashed to the store to see if she could find a wolf. In a minute she came back, not with a wolf, but with a carved black onyx buffalo. I remember the word ‘perfect’ echoing in my mind.
Door locked, Flor and I each took a seat on a pillow, leaving the third space open. I began speaking out loud to the presence. I told her that this space was created for her, that she was safe to share what she needed, or to ask for what she needed. I put my hand on my heart, Flor did the same. I began speaking an active prayer out loud that included invitations for this presence to come close, to join our sacred circle and to feel our love.
My throat constricted, then began to heat up, then a heavy substance that had me retching up, up and out almost violently. As this passed I entered my higher mind, behind and above my head. I was shown a gloriously clear blue and vast sky. The sun was shining gorgeously and there was deep snow on the ground and mountains. The presence came close and she showed me her world.
She had been a Tribal leader, an Elder of her people. They had come through a very harsh winter and many of her people were hungry, some close to starving. On this day they were celebrating the sun, the sky and the bison they had hunted and were now cooking. There was much activity with the cooking and preparing for rituals, people were happy, laughing, gathering in anticipation for dancing. I could feel her joy, hear laughter from children and smell the bison cooking, sizzling, the promise of sustenance, nourishment and life.
In an instant the scene changed. The sun darkened, the white snow melted in crimson. It was blood. I was spared her emotions, but understood what she needed to share with me; her story, her words, her pain, her forgiveness, her release.
“After many weeks of hardship and travel our hunters identified and tracked a small herd of buffalo, successfully capturing and killing one for the tribe. This was to be a day of great celebration and healing.” The presence shared that she was very loved and respected by her people. She was born of a lineage of Elders and Healers.
At this moment I understood what she needed; a witness to what happened to her, to her people, to her tribe, to her family and to her children. She needed to tell her story, she needed to be seen, she needed release.
As these images moved through my mind’s eye she presented herself to me. I saw her face, her hair, her clothing. She then shared that she had three children who had all been ‘slaughtered’ in front of her, just before she was killed. She showed me that she died on an inhale, frozen in her state of shock and horror.
The emotions of grief, regret, rage, pain and time were all wrapped in a tight and heavy bundle. I sat with this, with her, holding space in my heart for what she had gone through and the loss she had felt for such a very long time. I just held her.
I came back to the alter, not yet fully in my body but in that liminal space between energy and matter. I felt her exhale; long and peacefully releasing, clearing, forgiving. In my mind’s eye I saw this Native woman come forth from the corner where I’d been feeling her energy, the almost holy presence that I’d detected those months earlier. It was a moment, like a ‘hello’ and I felt this being as whole and real. As the exhale ended and a new breath taken in, I saw her three children, one by one, stepping out from that corner. Finally liberated, finally released.
As I slowly came back into my body, into the room I was aware of native drum music playing…I thought ‘is this coming from her world, how am I hearing this here?’ Fully back in my body I realized it was the music I’d put on before and the playlist was playing a song from Robbie Robertson’s album ‘Songs for the Native Americans’ called Ancestor Song.
I was back. The Native woman was gone, completely. Flor sat staring at me asking if I was okay. She told me she thought I was going to vomit at the beginning, but then said I sat up straight and said a few times ‘come closer, come tell me, come closer.’ Flor said after that I didn’t speak, but it looked to her like I was listening to someone, gently rocking forward from time to time.
I told Flor the story as it was shared with me. I shared what I had seen and the experience of the Native woman coming forth from the corner with her children. We were both in awe about what had just happened. What we had experienced, the space we created for another being to heal. It was surreal and joyous.
Over the next several weeks I’d come into the spa and do a ‘check in’ but no, she wasn’t there. I’d smile and say the Ho’oponopono prayer toward her and her family, tribe and people. Almost one month later I received a walk-in customer who asked for a Tarot reading. At the end of the reading as we were clearing up, the man asked me if he could share what he was reading about me.
As a Tarot intuitive, I’d never had a Querent end their reading asking if they could read for me. I said ‘yes.’ This man said he saw an Native Indian woman standing near but behind me on my left side. He described her appearance and I knew it was her, the presence I had helped release. This man went on to tell me a few things about other lives I’ve had that I am aware of. He was quite accurate and confirmed many ‘knowings’ I’ve felt since my 21st year in this life. It was an incredible day!
Funny thing about this man, this Querent who came as a walk-in for a reading, he gave me his email address and phone number. He took my card. He said ‘I will see you again my friend.’ Yet when I added him to my mailing list, the email bounced. I texted to let him know his email had bounced and yup…not a good number. I trust that I will see him again, on Spirit’s time, of course.
I’ve always had a deep respect for the unseen. This experience stays with me as a reminder that I am never alone, and that being of service to others is my soul nature.